Stephanie Ford • 11 min read • 12
Today’s post is through Stephanie, another Australian who’s got started learning Russian while teaching in Russia.
In this post she stocks about her experience as a lady dating in Russia while learning the language. It is a subject we have actually too much to say about myself I partly credit with helping me learn the language so quickly (links to my story below) as I had a Russian girlfriend during my time in Kazan which.
Therefore it’s interesting to listen to another perspective – especially one which respects the original values of Russian culture. ??
Russia is portrayed into the western as a cool, hard destination with a few magical architecture, array vodka shots, and a frontrunner whom dances with bears and whom, for many unfathomable explanation, never ever wears a top.
The folks are portrayed when you look at the countless US movies featuring Russians as spies or users of gangs whom continue steadily to make reference to one another solely as comrade (which, incidentally, is a term that came into English through the Romance languages and it is generally not very A russian term! Whom knew?! ).
Whilst it really is cool, vodka certainly exists, and calendars having A putin that is shirtless and aren’t an issue, you will find a thousand misconceptions about Russian tradition and folks.
After residing right here for long sufficient to get a good glimpse into Russian tradition, here you will find the things that i would like you to learn about Russia and Russians:
1. The greater amount of conventional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its perks in dating (and day-to-day life)
That I do not condone any “traditional” view of women that involves domestic violence or any kind of behaviour dominicancupid that devalues, disrespects or degrades the importance of the woman’s free will before I get stuck into this point, I want to make it clear.
The things I do like to state is, as a financially-independent Western girl, I LIKE that Russian males hold doorways available for me personally which help me down buses.
Do We expect it? No.
Does it enrage me personally whenever it can or does not take place? Not really.
Do i’m a flutter that is small of in my own belly whenever my date does it? Without a doubt I Really Do!
It’s a respectful motion and it suggests that they’re capable of thinking about others. If nothing else, that is definitely a lot better than having a guy yell “nice arse” at me personally from a motor vehicle…
It’s a tad bit more complicated away from the scene that is dating.
I’m grateful when a guy helps me straight down through the train or bus. I’m Australian and I also have always been maybe maybe not yet comfortable leaping down one thing just a little higher than I’d want it become whenever my landing area is covered in snowfall and ice, it is therefore truly helpful.
It’s additionally heartwarming to see guys assisting females with prams, shopping bags/trolleys or other things up the stairs, BUT i am going to admit that I’m suspicious of just just what my male 14-year-old students are around once they insist upon keeping the class home available for me personally. ??
It’s additionally a small bewildering whenever an senior girl rejects my offer to simply help her with her shopping, and then accept the offer regarding the next male that is passing.
Russia just isn’t an impairment friendly invest various ways, and so I do question whether these gestures that being increasingly scrutinized into the West and called away as possibly being “sexist” are borne of prerequisite and consideration, much less due to a far more “traditional” view of females.
The point is, once I remember the battles that I’d with lazy/tired Melbourne employees for the train chair whenever I had stitches during my base and compare it aided by the Russians leaping down their seats to help anybody somewhat even worse off than by themselves, i believe the western could discover anything or two.
2. The greater amount of conventional view of females that persists in Russia comes with its disadvantages in dating
Therefore, on the dating scene since I moved to Russia (pun intended), I haven’t exactly gamed the system and found perfection here whilst I love the doors that have opened for me.
There are specific objectives which come along side being women in Russia that we don’t fundamentally donate to. I’m a pretty low-to-zero maintenance woman, into the feeling that We don’t spend a huge amount of time maintaining myself and my typical hairstyle is “yes, my locks happens to be washed recently sufficient then left to a unique devices”.
We truly don’t look or odor like We invested the past 3 years coping with Russian bears, but, set alongside the effort place in by Russian women, i could oftimes be well described as ordinary.
A number of my friends that are male times have actually brought this through to an amount of occasions.
A few of the responses are innocuous:
“You don’t look or dress like a Russian”
Most are a bit more overt:
“Have you ever seriously considered having your teeth whitened? ”
But them all proof that my mindset is unquestionably a quirk that Russian men notice.
In Australia, ladies who cannot prepare or whom don’t just just take ownership of housekeeping duties aren’t going to be ostracized these times. We have firsthand experience and a lot of anecdotes that suggest Russian males choose women that will tackle these tasks with a grin.
The guy that is russian I’ve been seeing is thrilled to prepare. He really makes me elaborate breakfasts whenever we remain.
He could be additionally a lot more than happy to use the backseat on almost every other meal and makes a show of complimenting me personally whenever we prepare.
No foul it’s a little Pavlovian, but for now I find it cute so no harm.
Another social huge difference that I’ve noticed is the fact that male-female friendships aren’t typical. Pupils in my own classes have raised their eyebrows more often than once whenever I’ve mentioned hanging out with a friend that is male.
Navigating friendships with Russian males may be tricky because their motives will tend to be a small dissimilar to your personal.
This definitely exists within Western tradition, however the undertones take steroids in Russia, where wedding and young ones are hot subjects between the moms and dads of solitary individuals inside their mid-to-late twenties.